Navigating Maternal Mental Health After Maternal Mental Health Month

With the end of May comes the conclusion of Maternal Mental Health Month. But, that doesn't mean the conversation around maternal mental health stops there.

Perinatal Mental Health Disorders (PMHDs) affect an estimated 800,000 new parents each year ~ Postpartum Support International

Photo by Yuris Alhumaydy on Unsplash

My Introduction to Maternal Mental Health

During my pregnancy, I learned about Postpartum Mood and Anxiety Disorders (PMADs). This was part of the childbirth education course my husband and I attended through our hospital.

While the course was beneficial, it did little to prepare me for the reality of becoming a mother.

I found myself surviving on just 30 minutes of sleep at a time.

I sobbed at 3 AM, frantically Googling every variation of “IS THIS NORMAL?”

Images of dreadful scenarios involving my daughter constantly filled my mind.

I felt completely out of control in a situation I thought I had prepared for.

I know my experience is not unique. According to Postpartum Support International, 1 in 5 women and 1 in 10 men struggle with depression and anxiety during the perinatal period.

Addressing the Issue

So, what can we do about it?

What can we, as birthing individuals and partners, do?

What about providers, doulas, lactation support specialists, and community members?

Keeping the Conversation Alive

Photo by Aleksandar Andreev on Unsplash

“I thought early motherhood would be gentle, beatific, pacific, tranquil: bathed in a soft light. But actually it was hard-core, edgy, gnarly. It wasn't pale pink; it was brown of shit and red of blood. And it was the most political experience of my life, rife with conflict, domination, drama, struggle, and power.” ~ Lucy Jones Matrescence: On the Metamorphosis of Pregnancy, Childbirth and Motherhood

The most important step is to start and maintain the conversation. This can itself be a challenge.

During my daughter's early pediatrician visits, which were quite frequent, I would complete the Edinburgh Postpartum Depression Screen. It consists of several questions, asking how often I felt certain emotions over the previous two weeks.

I found a few issues with this process.

First, no one seemed to review my responses. Although I didn’t mind filling it out, it often ended up unnoticed in a pile on the counter after our appointment. Our pediatrician never acknowledged it.

So, what is the purpose if no one even glances at it?

Secondly, I felt the limited questions didn't reflect my experience accurately. If they did, I feared I would face consequences for saying “yes, most of the time.”

What action would they take? Would they inform my doctor? Would they call the police to check on my daughter?

Probably not, but that's what my exhausted, sleep-deprived brain imagined. I ended up presenting a filtered version of my feelings to seem more composed.

Is this a disservice to others who are struggling? Possibly. If I’m grappling with these thoughts, others likely are too. The statistics we rely on may not reflect the truth.

Let’s keep talking about it. Maintaining the conversation is vital, even beyond Maternal Mental Health Month.

Sharing and Finding Community

We can share our stories on social media. Start a blog.

Seek out community spaces and engage with others. (We will revisit this topic shortly.)

Never stay silent about your experiences. That’s how we create ripples of change in the system.

Photo by Maxim Tolchinskiy on Unsplash

I am fortunate to have an amazing support network of women who uplift me every day.

When I was around five months pregnant, my mom gifted me a prenatal yoga class. On my first visit, I arrived at the studio only to find it locked. I waited in the hallway watching the snowfall outside.

After checking several times, I left disappointed.

I eventually emailed the studio to confirm the class time. After sorting things out, they kindly offered me a free class for the trouble.

I tried again on another day. Walking into the studio this time was life-changing.

I discovered a group of strong, powerful women who were also navigating motherhood. These women have since become my best friends.

During our pregnancies, we met weekly for walks, sharing how our bodies felt and our deepest anxieties.

We reflected on our birth stories and now, in the postpartum phase, we continue to support one another with questions and reassurances. While our gatherings are less frequent now, we maintain a book club discussing parenting literature and engaging in life conversations. This has been therapeutic in its own right.

Find your village.

Feeling isolated as a new parent is all too common. Connecting with those who truly understand your journey makes it manageable.

Validate Your Feelings

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 on Unsplash

I want to take a moment to validate everyone's experience. There is nothing quite like it. People often say, “enjoy every minute of it.”

But let’s be real—sometimes that’s not possible.

It’s perfectly okay to love some aspects of motherhood while disliking others.

You are not a bad parent for feeling this way.

These feelings are normal.

That’s why talking about it is so crucial. It’s easy to feel as if you've failed or made a mistake if you don’t enjoy every second.

Your feelings are not wrong. It’s valid to have mixed emotions.

Motherhood is not all rainbows and unicorns. In fact, I believe the challenges make me a better parent. They help me model authenticity for my daughter.

It may be uncomfortable at times, but I want her to see me in both my best and worst moments. I don’t strive for perfection. The pressure is already overwhelming enough without adding that stress.

Wrapping It Up

I envision this space as a hub for conversation and storytelling. My hope is to inspire even one person to share their narrative.

Postpartum depression is genuine. PMADs are real.

Change begins with one brave person willing to speak out.

And not just during Maternal Mental Health Month—this dialogue needs to happen every day.

postpartum.net

You are not alone!