Navigating Sleep: Understanding Bed-Sharing and Safety in Infant Sleep Practices

In November, I enrolled in a Sleep Coaching training program. I was inspired by my sleep journey with my daughter. As part of my program, I began working with volunteer families under the guidance of a mentor.

I started the volunteer process in January. One family, with an 11-month-old boy, transitioned from frequent night wakings, which led to bed-sharing and nursing to sleep, to enjoying multiple 9+ hour nights. I was overjoyed to celebrate this substantial win alongside that family.

However, I later received an email from another family I was supporting. The mother called me judgmental and unempathetic. She claimed that the support I offered, based on my program’s stance on bed-sharing, dismissed her family’s experience, culture, and socioeconomic standing.

The American Academy of Pediatrics believes that bed-sharing is unsafe under all circumstances. My program agrees and does not advocate for it in any capacity. However, I have a different view.

Understanding Sleep Practices

It’s essential to clarify terms when discussing sleep practices. Confusion often arises around co-sleeping, bed-sharing, and room-sharing.

• Bed-sharing is simply sharing a bed with your child.

• Room-sharing involves sharing a room with the child, but they have a separate sleep space, such as a crib or bassinet.

• Co-sleeping is a broader term. It can refer to both bed-sharing and room-sharing. It can also mean having a separate sleep space that is attached to the parent’s bed, like a sidecar.

  
  

These definitions help clarify how families navigate sleep solutions.

The Reality of Bed-Sharing

Out of the 15 families who inquired about working with me, all of them engaged in bed-sharing.

Parents choose to bed-share for various reasons. For some families, it is a dream situation. They enjoy sleeping next to their little one, feeling the warmth and love. For others, it’s a desperate act. They might feel it’s the only way to help their child sleep soundly during the night.

With frequent wake-ups and nursing or bottle-feeding to sleep—sometimes accompanied by endless crying—parents often feel they have no choice. They bring their little one into bed so everyone can rest. Baby sleeps. Parents sleep. What’s the harm in that?

Understanding SIDS

Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) describes the unexplained death of an otherwise healthy child.

“SIDS is the leading cause of death in babies between 1 month and 1 year old in the United States. About 2,500 infants die every year because of SIDS.” — *Cleveland Clinic

Given the significant number of SIDS cases each year, it’s reasonable to eliminate as many risk factors as possible, including bed-sharing.

The Ongoing Debate

When considering risk reduction strategies, the first thought is often to avoid the risk itself. That seems logical, right?

However, data shows that as of 2015, 24% of families still bed-share, according to NPR.

This situation reminds me of discussions regarding book bans or abstinence-only sex education. Eliminating the behavior seems like a solution, right? But in reality, this approach often leads to further complications.

I believe this strict rule might be contributing to higher statistics regarding SIDS cases. Parents already face stigma surrounding their child's sleep habits.

For instance, I have a family member who asks if my daughter is sleeping through the night every time I see them. These questions usually get followed by, “Well, we did [insert cry it out method here].”

If we receive these types of comments from family, how challenging must it be for others to tell a pediatrician that their child sleeps in bed with them? This dynamic could distort the data surrounding bed-sharing practices.

Moreover, if more families are bed-sharing than reported, are the statistics as dire as they appear?

SIDS is a very real danger. No family should endure the devastating loss of a child. However, if parents are statistically likely to bring their baby into their bed, why not focus on teaching them how to do so safely?

Can we reduce SIDS rates through education rather than stigma and prohibition? I believe we can.

Safe Bed-Sharing Practices

Recently, I had the opportunity to present to local mothers about newborn sleep. It was vital for me to cover safe sleep practices, along with bed-sharing information.

My hope is to utilize my new business and developing platform for education. We need to help parents understand how to sleep with their children safely.

This conversation should be about

• Raising awareness

• Dissipating stigma

• Advocating for safe practices

  
  

I genuinely hope to see the trend of incidents decrease in the future.

For further information on safe bed-sharing, here’s a graphic from the La Leche League that outlines safe sleep recommendations!

Sleep well.